Why Me?!

This week takes us into the next generation of what we cling to as our ancestral story, the generation of Rivka and Yitzhak, in Parashat Toldot. As with the story of Sarah, we read about Rivka’s inability to have children. When she is finally pregnant with, as we learn, twins, Rivka speaks in 25:22, but her words are incomplete:

But the children crushed each other inside her, and she said “If so, why this/I?*” And she went to (seek a) word of G!d…

Her words aren’t complete as the phrase “לָ֥מָּה זֶּ֖ה אָנֹ֑כִי” employs the masculine form of what in this construction would be a predicate (*”Why am I this?”), and therefor is often translated as *”Why do I exist?” Additionally, the rabbis often translate “תֵּ֖לֶךְ לִדְרֹ֥שׁ אֶת־יְהֹוָֽה” as “She went to inquire of G!d” – which is a reasonable but creative use of the verb used in this sentence.

That Rivka’s words occur during the uncertainty of pregnancy, and in relation to what is described as a tumultuous rambling in her womb, was something I had not paid attention to before this year’s reading. Her words are still in relation to the line of patriarchs in the story, though the importance of the matriarchs in bearing the children is not ignored in the text. In some ways, these words communicate Rivka’s discomfort and giving of herself by bringing these children into the world, and acting as an agent in the way women were given footing in Bereshit for the most part.

Not only do we read Rivka’s words in this parsha, but G!d answers in the next verse:

And G!d said to her, “Two nations (spelling in the text) [normal spelling] (are) in your womb, and two peoples from your inside will be divided, and to one of the peoples will be more strength than the other, and the older will serve the younger.”

G!d’s response recorded just after Rivka’s outburst is interesting in that 1) there is a response, and 2) Rivka’s statement seems rhetorical, which adds even more intention and intensity to G!d’s reply, recorded just afterward. Rather than a focus on the words G!d shares, rather the interchange with one of the matriarchs is an important part of this parsha. Women are essential in the stories early in the Torah, yet we still hear very little from them, and know little of their story, especially outside of their relation to men in the Bible.

Perhaps we have moments where, like Rivka, we send an outburst of “Why me?!” into the universe – or want to do so. What will be the answer from G!d to our moments of questioning?