Decad[e]ing Dreams

After Hebrew school wrapped up last year, I went into deep study mode for my comprehensive exams. B”H, I passed them and am now ABD!* This summer I learned French (to pass a language exam), completed translations and essays for “Greek and Latin Biblical Translation and Exegesis” (plus some Hellenistic philosophy for good measure) and “Tannaitic Literature” (Mishnah, Tosefta, and early midrashim), and wrote a long paper covering Jewish thought about the history of messiahs. Now, I’m tasked with boiling my hours of study and collection of knowledge into a reasonable dissertation topic.

But now we’re in the throes of the choliday season, and I’m both not pausing enough and trying to reflect on four years of learning. How have my Ph.D. experiences changed me? As I gaze into the future, reaching ahead, how do I hold onto growth: spiritual, intellectual, emotional, physical? This won’t be a quick process – I’m only now finding the questions I want to ask myself (while searching for the BIG DISSERTATION QUESTION), but it’s a start.

Rosh Hashanah was beautiful, elevating my spirit as the Yamim Noraim opened. The new rabbi (Smolkin) at Adath spoke about G!d’s love for us, and reminding ourselves (even vocally) of that element of our relationship with the divine. During a season of questioning and release from an especially harsh summer, these words brought a sense of peace, expectation, and joy as I think about the next phase of my education, and life in general.

Here’s a Yom Kippur message that resonated with me: holding G!d’s unmeasurable greatness while being present, active, and free to join divine work. As the Days of Awe closed this year, I found the time, particularly during Neilah, to sit in wonder, fear, hope, and the unknown. Without words to express to myself what I felt, G!d’s presence was palpable in the space and people with whom I davened.

Now as Sukkot begins, I hope to take some time to prepare myself for a new cycle of parshiyot,** be thoughtful about my goals for the year, and take more time to be quiet and listen – something that lacked during my years of coursework, particularly as technology grows louder. These are the start of a year of renewed and growing practice, a year of welcome change, a year of new and strengthened relationships. I can’t wait for this first year of a new decade, growing in relationship and working alongside G!d every day!

Challah made with my Cincinnati neighbor, Harriet

*All But Dissertation
**I WILL MAKE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH IN 5780!!