I’m sad that Chanukah’s over, but really had a wonderful eight days of lights, friends, latkes, Torah, & apocrypha (haha!). This year is made a lot brighter by new friends, more synagogue involvement, learning new recipes, & personal growth. I always loved Chanukah growing up – the lights, the blessings, wonderful music, a feeling of pride in my heritage, never-ending dreidel games, and sharing my traditions and stories with so many friends. This year, especially as the first time in a few years that I’ve been away from family for the entirety of the choliday, building on these traditions in my own way with old and new friends made the lights seem warmer, the presence go deeper, and the blessings linger on my lips and in my memory.
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Last week, Joseph was still unknown to his brothers (and by way of them, his father). He wanted Benjamin to join them in Egypt, and his brothers were left with a hard request for Jacob. The story would be at a standstill, though, if Benjamin had not joined his brothers in Egypt. This week’s parsha picks up with a reunion that could feel worrisome, anticipatory, emotionally bogged down – yet, just like in life, when we read what actually happened, we are pulled out of our questions, nervousness, and worst-case-imaginations to discover that the family bond, as happened between Esau and Jacob, somehow plows through the hurt to open up the channels of communication again. The Torah calls attention to the emotion brought about by this meeting, in what often feels like a rare moment of empathy in scripture (often, these interpretations and remarks are reserved for the midrash).
When I read the parsha this week, and concentrated on this particular section to talk about in Hebrew school, the diversity of emotions, reactions, and interactions conveyed in Joseph’s story grabbed my attention. Most of the time, I question how people can read intentions, feelings, and motivations into biblical texts. Here, for the first time in a while, the author offers a glimpse into the human experience that somehow feels deeper than usual. I was struck by my ability to feel connected to the mental experience of the characters – a rare experience when reading the Torah (or really any other biblical text).
Next week we complete our reading of Bereshit, then move on to a national narrative that has shaped our people for centuries. Hopefully this year, I will be able to draw connections between the experiences of our foremothers and forefathers, and that of our early nation.
Family ties by my grandmother’s shul in Brooklyn
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Komps kaos is culminating for the semester. This week, I narrowed my question for the “exam” I’m creating with a professor, and will begin using texts to draw a timeline. While I may never not feel behind this year, the past month has helped my sanity and happiness – something that is an intense struggle during grad school, and particularly comps year, for most (if not all) students.
