Close to Angels

This year was my first Yom Kippur spent in Cincinnati, and I davened at Adath Israel, a Conservative congregation where my ancestors attended when they lived in the area. It was a fantastic introduction to the Jewish community here – which is important for me to know. But during this High Holy Day season, it is more consequential that I witnessed a spirit of love for G!d and compassion toward others at the shul. Every participant and leader sought to lead those present into the presence of G!d as we recounted his everlasting love, mercy, and sovereignty.

Yom Kippur seems to me a bit lessened if it I don’t take the time and energy to reflect on the day and its meaning. Here is an article where Chancellor Arnold Eisen of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America does just that. I appreciate that he draws out the key element of relationship with G!d. “Yom Kippur invites Jews to step out of ordinary time and space, suspend normal operating assumptions, and enter a ritual realm that we do our best to make holy. The day simultaneously forces us to confront aspects of ourselves that we might prefer to avoid and brings us to the neighborhood where G!d can be sought and perhaps found. Both efforts require honesty, courage, and immediacy. The point of the exercise is relationship — and love.”

It is in this stepping outside of the everyday routine, even the weekly stepping out into Shabbat, that a special and unique experience emerges. The liturgy reminds us of things often too easy to ignore about G!d. It calls to mind consideration of our place as humans, yet assures us of G!d’s love. This paradox, though, is not confusing; rather, it is awe-inspiring, humbling, deeply true, reminding us of ourselves and the purpose of our creation. We don’t have to search for G!d, he’s there. Eisen says later in his article, “God lives in relationship, not in detachment. Yom Kippur assiduously avoids having us speculate about G!d. It wants to bring us into G!d’s presence.” Who is this G!d we know? “We call G!d sovereign, teacher, redeemer, and friend — speaking not as philosophers or scientists but as witnesses offering testimony to personal encounter and heartfelt longing.”

These statements are true of my experience each Yom Kippur. I enter the sanctuary, ready to ponder, question, remember, change. Each year, though, I’m moved to a place of thinking about God rather than myself, my actions – and this is the essence of this holy day. It is not a day to think about us – yes, the process of repentance is important and yes, we must be moved by our sins. Yom Kippur couldn’t be holy without G!d – the holy one – as its central focus. Instead on this day, I find myself considering his attributes as I am reminded of them, thinking about how G!d loves me and I can speak to him and hear from him and learn from him. The relationship becomes the centerpiece, the heart that I beat during the Al Chet. It is awakened, renewed, restored, invigorated.

So what is atonement? Consider the haftorah read in the afternoon service: the book of Jonah. This story reports the repeated actions of no ordinary man, but a prophet of G!d, against the sovereign. Yet as the details are considered, it is clear that Jonah has a relationship with G!d and the listeners are privy to the dynamics of it. There is arguing, surrender, compromise, distrust and trust, complaining and whining, praise, jealousy, and hope. It is in Jonah’s supreme display of humanity – one with which each person must identify – that his sins are brought to the surface and forgiven. Sacrifices can be made in penance, but it is in our relationship with our creator that atonement is assured and granted.

The liturgy of Yom Kippur is moving, the niguns and music by the hazzan and choir give me goosebumps because of their majesty, and the sermons offer opportunities for deep thought. Yet nothing in any of these services can compare to the hope, assurance, and love I know through my relationship with G!d. Without that, Yom Kippur is meaningless, a waste of my time, self-deprivation, thought and concentration, and prayers. But indeed, when Yom Kippur is spent with G!d, it is an experience I can never forget, and may continue throughout the year.

[at the Israel Museum]

שנה טובה