Elul + Goalz

This year has been magnificent, stressful, eye-opening, life-changing, a whirlwind, a time for reflection, hopeful, frightening, confusing, illuminating, disappointing, and anything but normal. Although 5780’s not yet done, reflecting on the course of our world and my circumstances is no small task. Accomplishments and joys have buoyed me, while struggles and slow-downs have taken their toll. Through all this, I remain steadfast in my faith that I have been given the gift of life and of purpose.

Even this month, I have bounced back and forth as I seek to prepare for the high holidays. Distractions abound and routines are, as ever, hard to keep at times. However, in the upcoming year I want to be better in my approach to faith, prayer, text, practice, and conversation. What is “better?” Well, this year, intention felt far from me – due to a move which caused vast changes in friendships and commitments, a pandemic that threw us all for a loop, and a mind often caught in the swamp of trying to balance multiple responsibilities (and, truthfully, lacking the concentration to do my best at most of them). Alas, we’re all humans, and stress takes a toll while we climb through the muck of disasters.

What promises can I make this year? Thankfully, this week I found a renewed energy and excitement for my dissertation work – the outcome of resting and working through emotional, mental, and spiritual turmoil in the midst of our world’s required transitions. I have begun a conversation with a friend from HUC that holds exciting possibilities for partnerships: faith gatherings, speaking and teaching, writing, dreaming and creating, and providing resources for understanding faith through critical thinking and open, meaningful discussion. Finally, I personally need to return to my roots of practice and study.

So this Elul I will prepare myself to work in 5781 toward:

i. A completed dissertation proposal (and hopefully begin the actual dissertation)

ii. Cooperation with friends toward efforts of leading in faith and developing grassroots plans

iii. Studying the parsha of the week, renewing Shabbos each week, learning more about holidays and creatively approaching at least one (in writing, gathering, etc.)

iv. Continuing to advance in my study of the Yiddish language and culture

My summer included several city weekend ferry adventures!

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Due to burnout caused by the turmoil and stress of last year, exacerbated by the pandemic, I did some work on my dissertation question but have not completed a proposal. However, this summer made clear to me that the break was good for my psyche and motivation. I am in the first phases of research to turn my question into a proposal. Over the next several weeks, I hope to share some of my questions and findings with you here.